


Brother's Keeper

by jaylinbee



Category: One Life to Live
Genre: Alpha Love, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, McManning, Slash, Trust, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-09
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-15 22:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaylinbee/pseuds/jaylinbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John wants to help Todd find out the truth about his identity. But can Todd trust him enough to let him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Not My Type

**Author's Note:**

> Totally inspired by the scene on 7/25/11 where John takes the newly returned Todd back to his apartment for his protection. I felt some major chemistry in those scenes, so I did use two lines from the show that really jump started this ship for me- it's the first two lines of dialogue in the story. I’m a Todd fan from way back so I wanted to see more of his complex, broken character again. Plus there is not enough OLTL Slash out there! (Like, none). Origionally I was writing an epic, who “killed” Victor Jr. mystery, but I'm finally admitting to myself that I'm not gonna finish that opus, so as it turns out, it's a "can Todd love someone and let himself be loved" story, which is completed. If anyone is interested in any lose ends, drop me a line, because I have an outline of the whole thing in my head. Todd/John centric but look for Victor, Thomas, Tea, Blair, Jack, Starr, Brody, Natalie and anyone else that factors in to the "Who Killed Victor Lord Jr?" storyline as chapters progress.

Todd Manning sat on John McBain’s red couch, quietly observing his host. At least he thought he was Todd Manning. He had to be, because it kept rolling around his head in a loop- _I am Todd Manning. I am Todd Manning. I have a daughter, her name is Starr..._ That would be the type of thing that might happen to a victim of brainwashing, he supposed. But supposing didn’t matter. What mattered was what he felt in his gut, and his gut said he was Todd Manning, for better or for worse.

John was appraising him as well, he could tell.  In that deep, whisper of a voice he was telling Todd he’d have to stay here, lay low. John was average height, slim build, long hair, all cop. Alpha male for sure. Most cops were, the good ones anyway. This was the first time Todd could think of that a cop actually wanted to help him. Assuming he could trust him. Assuming he could trust anyone.

Todd felt tension rising in his chest. What was he doing, trusting this guy on the word of some homeless man who he barely knew? Getting nervous, he started babbling.

“Um, I know you just saved my life, and you’re very attractive, and maybe I’m just vulnerable, from the near death experience, but you should know I don’t usually come back to a gentleman’s apartment until after the third date or so,” he said, watching John for reaction. “Unless he spends a lot on dinner,” he added. The stab at humor was mostly for his own benefit, to lighten his mood, because he was getting edgy and suspicious.

“To be fair, you’re not really my type,” John replied easily. “So why don’t you just start from the beginning.”

 “Huh,” Todd quipped. “More into the bears, maybe? Or the leather scene, more likely. You being a cop and all. It’s okay. I know I’m not for everyone.”

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

“Of course I know that. I’ve heard that my entire life.” His response was light, but there was a darkness in his eyes that undermined it. If John noticed, he didn’t show it.

“I need you to take this seriously. Someone is trying to kill you, or hadn’t you noticed?”

“Hey I’m the one with the bruise on my hip from when you shoved me into a pile of boxes back there on the docks! Not to mention the shame I still feel from you feeling me up back there.” Todd hugged himself for emphasis. He guessed he was still a little pissed about John slamming him up against the wall and patting him down like a common criminal. He might have been a criminal, but definitely not common. Plus he never liked being touched.

“Excuse me, I was trying to save your life.”

“You didn’t have to manhandle me to do it.”

“You know, you’re almost as bad as the other one.”

“The other one what?”

“The other Todd Manning. The only Todd Manning I know.”

“That guy is an imposter, John! You don’t know any other Todd Manning! Just this guy that’s in on the conspiracy to take over my life!”

“Yeah, well I’ve saved his life a time or two, and he’s been about as grateful.”

“You want a reward?”

“No. I want you to stop flirting and start talking.”

“I _was_ flirting. But then you rejected me, and I got a little defensive, maybe, so...” Todd trailed off, because John was now seating himself on the coffee table directly in front of Todd so he could look him straight in the eyes.

“I want to help you,” John said plainly. “You have to help me help you, and to do that you’re going to have to try and trust me. It’s obvious that it’s hard for you. But you have my word, I will protect you. As long as you’re straight with me.”

Todd looked away from the piercing blue stare. Something about John unnerved him. Not because he thought he couldn’t trust him, but because he thought he could. He had trusted very few people in his life, and they’d all betrayed him in the end. Rebecca—falling for Powell. Sam and Blair—winding up in bed together. A part of him wanted desperately to walk out of this apartment and handle everything on his own. But those piercing eyes, they drew him back. Honest eyes. He needed the help. Hell, he had asked for the meeting. And John had just saved his life. That had to count for something. He told the man his story. The parts he could say aloud, anyway.

*             *             *

John listened, and he didn’t push. He asked a few questions; about the place where they’d held him, about how Todd-- if he was actually Todd-- had gotten free. He didn’t push on the details of the torture. When Todd started to talk about it, his eyes grew dark, his voice tight. John reached out to put a hand on Todd’s knee, but the other man recoiled from it. John sat back and gave him some space. Regardless of the whole story, this guy believed what he was saying, and it was obvious he’d been through hell.

Todd told John how he’d met with “the imposter”, and how he was certain the other Todd Manning was involved with Baker and his goons. Interesting, when John had questioned “Manning,” he hadn’t said a word about meeting a man with his old face.

“Okay,” said John, looking thoughtful. “I’ve got some ideas but I’ve got to sort them out. In the meantime, you have to get some rest.” He could tell the man was exhausted. A little wired, but the adrenaline from the shoot-out at the docks was wearing off.

“You trying to get me into bed again?” Todd asked wryly. John cracked a half smile.

“Not my type, remember? Crash on the couch if you like.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Todd demanded. “What is your type?”

“Used to be you’re alleged niece.”

“Jessica? No, she’s way too good for a guy like you.”

“Thanks for that. Actually it was Natalie.”

“The red-head? She’s still a Buchanan? Huh. Somehow I saw that going the other way. Guess you never can tell. She seems about your speed.”

“Too fast for me, as it turns out,” John said bitterly. He hadn’t meant to bring up Natalie. He was still sore about the whole Brody thing. One of his best officers, fathering a kid with his girlfriend. And Natalie lying to him all those months! It was better not to think about it. Throwing himself into his work was what John did best.

“What did she do?” Todd asked.

“Her sister’s fiancé. And god knows who else.”

“Those gingers are spicy, John. You’ve got to be careful with them.”

“So I’ve learned.”

“Swearing off women? I’d recommend it. Look at my ex-wives. One of them is married to Fraudd Manning like an idiot, the other one is shacking up with the idiot’s brother. Of course Blair will shack up with about any man who likes blonde hair.”

“Careful, that’s my ex-wife you’re talking about.”

“Your _what_??”

“Yes, Blair and I were married. It was a peaceful split.” John saw real anger brewing in the other man’s eyes. According to his rep, Todd Manning was very possessive, and jealous. John didn’t really care though. Better to be up front about it.

“I really have missed a lot,” Todd said darkly.

“Eight years is a long time. But hey, don’t try to figure it all out at once. What we need to do now is prove who you really are.”

“Prove... does that mean you believe me?” The anger about John and Blair left him, and he looked anxious, almost desperate for an ally. The Todd John had known for the last eight years lived up to his reputation as a cold, mean, sociopath. He was charismatic, for sure, but he’d never seen a side like this... a vulnerability that wasn’t part of his reputation. Beneath the wise cracks that screamed defense mechanism, he was angry, he was desperate, he was broken... and yet there was still this flicker of hope when he looked at John for an answer. _Did_ John believe him? Reason said he didn’t have enough evidence yet. His gut on the other hand...

“Maybe,” John said, wanting to give Todd more but finding himself unable to commit just yet. “I honestly don’t know who else you’d be,” he admitted.

“Exactly, John! Who else would I be? With this face? And this scar?” He stood up wildly, pointing emphatically at the cursed mark across his right cheek. “Why would anyone even want my life? Why would anyone choose this?!” Todd was shouting now, working himself up to a rage. John had never known Todd Manning to be this emotional.  With the other one, the angrier he got the quieter he got. Frankly, John found the silent rage scarier. Animal lash-outs he could deal with. “Really, I should let him have it!” Todd continued. “If _Fraudd_ want to be me so bad! Reviled Prince of Llanview! But those are _my kids_ John! He cannot have my _kids_!!!”

“All right, cool down a minute,” John said calmly. He reached out again and put both hands on Todd’s shoulders, holding him still. Todd’s muscles were tense beneath his thin t-shirt. His chest heaved with emotion. But he didn’t pull away this time, so they were making progress. John moved up close to him, still holding Todd by the shoulders, and looked him in the eyes. Todd’s were guarded, angry. But he still didn’t pull away.

“If we’re gonna manage to _prove_ it, you’ve gotta let me think,” John said gently, watching Todd’s eyes soften slightly, but still with their guard up. “I’m on your side.”

John guided Todd back to the couch, giving his shoulders a final, reassuring squeeze before letting him go. Todd sat for a minute, and then flopped over on his side dramatically, pulling his feet up onto the couch and glowering.   Not at John in particular. Probably at the whole world.

 

*             *             *

_“Do you want the pain to stop?”_

_It was the woman’s voice again, and he could smell her perfume; cloying, powdery, something from Elizabeth Taylor. The pain she referred to came from the needle; the large, metal point rammed into his sore skin. But it was actually what flowed from it that caused the real pain. Like hot lava rolling through his veins. The pain was so intense it was hard for him to speak, but he managed to get his first thought out:_

_“You mean the needle? Or the stench of your over-applied cologne?”_

_She slapped him hard across the face.  She had a temper, as he knew. The slap actually drew his mind away from the pain in his veins for a moment, so it was welcome. She wanted him to break, and he had yet to oblige. She wanted information, but he had none of it to give her._

_“I can make it worse, you ingrate,” she hissed at him. And he knew that she could. He heard the device in her hand, the one that pinched and pulled..._

_“Please, no,” he begged, his cockiness abandoning him._

_“Then tell me what I want to know you ungrateful bastard!”_

_“I don’t know anything!”_

_The whirring of the machine began, and the sound of it was almost worse than what it promised. Almost..._

Todd awoke with a start, unaware of where he was. Then he heard the low, husky voice behind him ask, “Bad dreams?” John McBain. He was at the detective’s apartment, and he’d fallen asleep on his couch.

“Yeah,” Todd admitted. “But I’m used to them. If I don’t have bad dreams, I’m suffering from insomnia.”

“That’s unfortunate,” John said, coming around the couch and sitting down next to Todd. “Open your mouth,” he said, leaning towards Todd with some sort of white stick in his hand. Todd immediately jerked back into the corner of the couch, putting up a protective arm.

“Whoa,” John said, holding his hands up in a nonthreatening gesture. “It’s just a q-tip, see?” he extended the white implement he was holding. “For a DNA sample.”

“I just got free from eight years of torture, asshole,” Todd spat at him. “You need to warn a brother.”

John pressed his face into a kind of grimace, looked down, then back up at Todd.

“Sorry about that,” he said sincerely. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“I’ll say,” Todd said, glowering for another moment, but then seeming to let it go. “What do you need that for, anyway?”

“For proving that you are the real Todd Manning. I’ll manage to get Fraudd’s DNA somehow.” Todd broke into a sudden grin that reached all the way up to his eyes, which glinted playfully at John. “What?” John asked.

“You called him Fraudd,” Todd said happily. He leaned in close to John. “ _You believe me_ ,” he said conspiratorially. He opened his mouth willingly. John took the sample, suddenly very aware of their _nearness_ to one another. His heart began to beat inexplicably faster. He heard Todd’s breath shorten, grow shallow. It was suddenly very warm in the room. He put the sample into its sterile plastic bag, trying to shake off the unexpected charge in the air.

“Is that all you need?” Todd asked abruptly. There was a shift in his demeanor as well.  They had both felt it, and were both a little afraid of it.

“No, that should do it,” John replied gruffly. They both stood up, almost knocking into one another but narrowly avoiding it. “I’m going to go scrounge up a sample of the other’s DNA,” John continued.

“How are you planning to get that?” Todd asked, too quickly. Almost a hint of jealousy. But that was ridiculous.

“I’m a detective, I can be sneaky when I need to be,” said John, heading for the door. He stopped. Now at a safer distance, his voice softened. “Don’t go anywhere while I’m gone, and I mean it.”

“Sure pop,” Todd said snarkily.

“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” John said, surprised by how true that felt.

“Just get my proof, John. I’m not going anywhere,” Todd replied, surprised at how trusting he felt. He didn’t want to go anywhere else. Not yet anyway.

John moved to open the door. Hesitated. Turned back towards Todd as if there was something unfinished, but then he held himself back from whatever it was.

“I’ll be back soon,” he said simply.

“You be careful,” Todd called after him. “And stay out of Fraudd’s clutches! He’s wanton, that one!”

“Will do,” John called back as he left the apartment with a huge grin on his face that he didn’t want Todd to see. Whatever that meant.


	2. Silky, Sexy Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is getting ready for a fancy gala where he hopes he'll get some answers to the mystery of the real Todd Manning. But there's an elephant in the room, and it's charged with pheromones...

Todd heard the shower turn off as he polished off the rest of John’s frozen macaroni and cheese. He didn’t know what to do with himself, exactly. John had gotten a DNA sample of Fraudd, and would drop it off at the lab on his way to this gala tonight- some crap involving David Vickers and Dorian. What was most important was that he would talk to Tomas Delgado- who hopefully would have some information on this whole mess. The bad part was that John was doing everything, and Todd was stuck in the house like a nine year old on prom night.

He tossed the empty Stouffer’s container into the trash bin and wandered over to John’s bedroom door, which was ever so slightly ajar. He nudged it open wider with his foot and leaned in the doorway. John was in the adjoining bathroom but that door was also open, and Todd could see John’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. He was wearing black slacks and nothing else, and painstakingly blow-drying that silky black mop of his.

“What are you going to ask Delgado?” Todd asked, above the dull roar of the CHI. John whipped around, startled. Didn’t jump exactly, but a satisfying start just the same.

“Jeez, what are you doing sneaking up on me like that?”

“I didn’t sneak. I’m not even _up on you_ , if you’ll notice. I’m way over here.”

“King of semantics.” John said, shaking his head. He ran a hand through his hair, seemed satisfied with his blow-out, and set the pricey tool onto the bathroom counter. “Now what are you asking me?” he said, speaking into the mirror where he was looking at Todd’s reflection as well.

“What are you going to ask Delgado about? At the party?” Todd repeated. John poured a small amount of product from a shiny purple bottle into his hands, and then expertly ran it through his tresses.

“I thought Delgado wanted to talk to me?” John said. “You’re the one that made the plans.”

“This is kind of like a ritual for you, isn’t it? This hair routine?”

“Oh come off it.”

“Does that bottle say “Silky Sexy Hair” McBain?”

“It works well.”

“I should say so.”

“You like?” John asked, looking up at the mirror flirtatiously.

“Just doing research, actually,” Todd said quickly. Too quickly, maybe. “I used to have long hair. Longer hair that you even. I might grow it out again. Of course I don’t think I could use something called Silky Sexy Ha—”

“—enough of that now,” John cut him off.

“Are you sure that’s not for girls though, John?” Todd continued anyway. “Purple bottle... where does purple stand these days? Is it still kind of a _bi_ color? Of course I’m a bit behind on things. I was away for eight years you know.”

John left the mirror and crossed into the bedroom, pulling a black shirt from his closet and slipping into it. Todd appraised him from his perch in the doorway.

“That’s a silky, sexy shirt John,” he said, with a straight face no less. “I think we have a winner.”

John began buttoning up the shirt smoothly, watching Todd while he did.

“Why are you standing there watching me dress?” he asked smokily, raising an eyebrow. Todd’s ears began to grow red, and he blinked a couple dozen times.

“I’m just bored John, don’t be weird,” he said at last. John looked at him for another beat, and then gave a maddening little shrug. It was happening again, the crackle of energy in the air. They were only about three feet apart now...

Todd turned abruptly and walked over to John’s closet. He was good at throwing up those force fields.

“Oh you’ve got much nicer things in here,” Todd mused, perusing the sea of black that made up John’s wardrobe. “This tux is pretty fly. You sure you don’t want to wear it? I’m sure this event is black tie.”

“Oh, the ‘No you’re not getting married after all cause your fiancé had your buddies baby and passed it off as yours’ tux? I think I’ll pass.”

“It’s a shame, though. That’s a Buchanan-class tuxedo there. Hey, maybe I should wear it?”

“Why would you wear it?”

“Because maybe I should go to this thing with you.”

“Don’t even think about it!” John said roughly, crossing over to Todd and putting the tuxedo back in the closet. “This thing is high stakes, and everyone is going to be there. Let me get the proof we need first. I don’t need all hell breaking loose!”

They were inches apart now. Todd narrowed his eyes at John, deciding on whether to challenge him on this. Tension was mounting between the two. But it was more than the conflict of wills. It was the _nearness_ and the banter and the glimpses of skin and the secrets and the needs and the silky sexy...

“I’m not good at waiting.” Todd’s voice was strained.  “I’m not good at sitting tight.”

“It’s the only way I know I can protect you,” John said intensely, taking a hold of Todd’s wrist for emphasis. He shouldn’t have been touching him. Touching was a bad idea. “Somebody out there wants you dead,” John continued. “For all we know, it’s Delgado! You want to walk right into his hands?”

“Well how am I supposed to just wait for you to save me?” Todd shouted, his eyes flashing. “It’s not how I operate!”

“Well you came to me, sweetheart! This is my home, and my rules, my operation!”

“Well fuck _you_ John McBain!”

They stared at each other for the briefest moment; eyes angry, hearts pounding-- both seemed at a loss for words. And then their mouths crushed together with such ferocity that neither man had the wherewithal to pull away. There was only John and Todd and their amplified heartbeats, blood coursing hot through their bodies, lips and tongues and breath and silky, sexy hair. It was instinct and madness and no one was in control; no one knew where it had come from or how long it would grip them.

Apparently, it would grip them until John’s phone went off. Todd broke away quickly at the sound of the electronic chimes. John cursed under his breath as Todd whipped around and sped out of the room.

“Hey, where are you going?” John called after him, following him into the living room where Todd had returned to the couch, and was already putting the TV on. John’s heart was still thudding from their encounter. “Turn that off,” he said, angrier than he’d meant to.

“Their covering the party,” Todd said, not looking at him. “You know you’re going to be late, if you don’t get to stepping.”

“You know, we were kissing just now,” John said exasperatedly. He didn’t really want to talk about it, either. He never wanted to “talk about it.” But he also didn’t like Todd running away.

“I was there John,” Todd said shortly.

“So that’s it? End of conversation?’

“All I’ve got to say. You never struck me as the Chatty Cathy type, John.”

“Fine. I’ve got to get going. I’ve got to go find out how I can _help you_.”

“Great. You do that, and I’ll wait here and try not to feel like Betty Draper.”

John snatched up his coat and headed for the door. Stopped at it. Turned around and went back to the couch, sitting down so close to Todd that their thighs were touching. Todd squirmed and stared at the television. Blanca Morales was interviewing David Vickers. John reached up and took him by the chin, turning Todd’s head so that it faced his, and kissed him again, deeply. Todd tried not to melt, but resistance was futile. He kissed John back, their breaths intermingling, and instead of feeling anxious, he suddenly felt very calm. John pulled away softly.

“This isn’t over,” he said, holding Todd’s gaze.

“Okay, whatever,” Todd mumbled with feigned indifference. John rubbed his hand across Todd’s furry cheek.

“The beard’s gonna take some getting used to,” he said playfully.

“Get to the party, loverboy,” Todd said, wriggling out of John’s reach. John stood up, grabbed his jacket again.

“Okay, I’m out of here. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Not if I see you first.”

Truer words were never spoken.

  


	3. It's In His Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Left behind in the apartment, Todd tries not to think about kissing John. Meanwhile, John discovers a secret that Fraudd and Tomas are hiding.

Todd sat on the couch ignoring Blanca Morales, trying not to think about John. That wasn’t something he did; kiss men. He remembered playing a few weird games in college—frat stuff—not to be taken seriously. And then there was that fiasco with Powell Lord… weren’t they somehow related now? Best not to think about that too much.

_Why the hell had he kissed John_? Or even better yet, why had McBain kissed _him_? Todd knew that he was all kinds of fucked up, so questioning why Todd Manning did impromptu things was a job for a different kind of couch. But why had John kissed him? John seemed like a decent person. One of the “good-guys,” not someone that would seek out an eternal train wreck like Todd Manning. Was it possible that this was something beyond both of their control? Or maybe it just tied into McBain’s hero complex—surely a guy like him had one of those.

A familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Tea Delgado, his ex-wife of convenience. Current wife of Fraudd Manning, who was standing beside her on the carpet, flanked by that girl of Delgado’s and… Jack! His Jack, almost all grown up. And looking at Fraudd as he spoke, hanging on to every slimy word. The reverence in Jack’s face for his fake of a father stirred a growing hatred inside of Todd’s chest. The reporter was asking Jack about his recent arrest. Arrest! What was this douche doing to his kids?

 Agitated, Todd stood up and walked away from the television, pacing the small living room. How was he supposed to just sit here and watch from the sidelines? He was trying to trust John ( _don’t think about John!_ ) but leaving something this important up to someone he had just met… well, it wasn’t really Todd’s style.

The sound of Blair’s voice brought him back to the television. She looked great, hadn’t aged a day in eight years by the looks of it. And there was Starr, wearing a hideous dress but a beautiful girl anyway… god he missed his daughter. And of course standing with them was Blair’s latest, that tool Tomas… _everybody_ was at this thing!

Todd moved on instinct; not giving John’s voice inside his head the chance to talk him out of anything. He headed back into John’s bedroom, to the closet where the doomed wedding tux still hung in the back untouched. _If you’re not going to wear it tonight, John…._ Todd thought, scratching at his beard, eyes intent.

_“The beard’s gonna take some getting used to,”_ John had said. Their first kiss replayed in an uninvited flash, sending a tingly thrill shooting through Todd’s chest, but Todd batted it away. No time for that right now.

“No need getting used to the beard, John,” Todd said aloud, heading for the bathroom. It was time for the Reviled Prince of Llanview to make his appearance at the ball.  

 

*          *          *

All hell had broken loose. Some jackass wanna-be porn king had hijacked the VIckerman premier to debut his latest “film,” and since the star of said film happened to be dating Tomas Delgado’s niece, it had interrupted he and John’s rather interesting conversation.

 Delgado had been spewing all these claims that Manning wasn’t the man everyone thought he was, that he was working for Baker (who was apparently CIA gone rouge), and that now because Manning had pulled out on Baker, everybody they knew was in jeopardy. John thought Tomas might have believed that, but he also felt like the man was holding out on him. He seemed defensive, his eyes shifted about, he seemed nervous.  It was very possible that Tomas was just trying to get his brother-in-law out of Tea’s life. Even more possible that he and Manning were in on something together. They had both been behind Marty Saybrooke’s escape earlier that month. John was sure of it, though he couldn’t prove it. So had there been some kind of falling out? John wasn’t sure, but Tomas’s sudden eagerness to sell Manning out made him more suspicious than ever. Especially since Delgado wasn’t giving him much.

John watched them all react around each other; Tomas, Manning, Blair and Tea. He noted especially the rapport between Tomas and Todd (or was it Fraudd?). There were all sorts of silent conversations in stolen glances going on between those two. He was considering trying to question them together when he saw Manning walk past Tomas on his way out of the room, brushing Tomas combatively with his shoulder on his way by. Tomas followed, as the women continued to discuss the night’s scandal, oblivious to the exchange. John followed at a distance. They stopped in a corridor near the men’s room that offered some privacy. They didn’t see John lurking nearby.

“What were you talking to McBain about?” Manning asked in that calm-before-the-storm voice of his.

“You worried?” Tomas asked.

“Should I be? What are you playing at, Delgado?”

“Maybe I’m just looking out for myself,” Tomas said aloofly. Manning scowled.

“Is that how we’re doing it now?”

“You would think that of me, wouldn’t you? You don’t trust anyone.”

“I can’t trust anyone. Least of all some guy who would sleep with his sister’s husband.”

_“Wait…”_ thought John _. “Say What?”_

“So you think I should stop that?” asked Tomas.

“I think you should kiss me,” said Manning. The two embraced hotly, with Tomas finding his hands onto Manning’s ass and giving it a good squeeze. But then something went wrong. Tomas cried out and backed away sharply.

“Bitch!” he yelled, his hand flying to his mouth while Manning smiled at him evilly. “You bit me!”

“If you wanna know if he loves you so, Tomas, it’s in his kiss,” Manning said. “Cher is never wrong. Yours says you are lying to me.”

“This is ridiculous. You are crazier than I thought,” Tomas said unconvincingly.

“What did you tell McBain?” Manning’s eyes flashed angrily.

“Stop overreacting!”

“There is no overreacting when the stakes are this high! Did you tell him about us?”

“Don’t be ludicrous. We both have reputations to protect.”

“So, what then?”

“I told him what I know about you… what you don’t know I know.”

“You’re talking in riddles.”

“I know what you’ve done, Todd! I know that you worked for Baker. I know that you betrayed your country.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t feign innocence. I’ve been on to you since I got here.”

“Wait, you’ve been playing me, Tomas? Some twisted game of cat and mouse? And to think I let my guard down around you…”

“Like you ever let your guard down!”

“You think I let all the boys take me like you do?”

“Frankly it wouldn’t surprise me—”

Manning punched Tomas in the face so hard that the other man staggered a bit to stay on his feet. John couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They were lovers? But then why _was_ Delgado turning on Manning?

Manning stood there seething at Delgado. Delgado straightened up and smiled ruefully. “You don’t punch like a bottom,” he said.

“Shut up,” said Manning, his voice clipped. “You’re not cute. Now tell me why you’ve been using me. And make it the truth.”

Tomas looked warily at him, seemed to weigh something in his mind.

“My plan was to get close to you so I could take you down,” he said.  “I didn’t like you involved with my sister. Because I know about you and Baker.”

John could have sworn he saw actual hurt in Manning’s eyes, just for a brief second.

“Whatever you _think_ you know is bullshit,” Manning insisted. “And as far as protecting your sister goes, I don’t think she’ll thank you for fucking her husband “for her own good.””

“I did not plan on sleeping with you,” Tomas continued. “It is just that you remind me of someone that I lost. A long time ago.”

“Oh you poor, poor thing. He wouldn’t happen to be a jackass with my old face, would he? Because I can probably help you with that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I was going to tell you about it, but now that I know I can’t trust you, you can forget about it.”

From John’s outsider’s perspective, he was pretty sure of one thing. Both men were telling what he thought was the truth. Tomas believed that Manning was involved with Baker. But Manning’s feelings of betrayal were real. So exactly where did the real Todd fit into all this?

John needed answers, and he was about to make his presence known when his telephone rang. It was the cop he had stationed in front of his door to protect Todd. Not good. John took the call.

“You’ve got to get down here,” the cop said breathlessly. John’s heart plunged into his stomach and turned to ice. Had something happened to Todd? He had promised to protect him. And even more than that, he _needed_ him to be okay. He felt attached to him in a way that didn’t make any sense… well he had saved Todd’s life, after all. That creates a kind of bond.

  _And what about that kiss?_ He could not help but ask himself. John thought he had outgrown that “college phase” when he’d exited the police academy some twenty years ago. The minute Todd had come into his life he had realized that those feelings were not all dead. There just hadn’t been anyone to pull them out of him in a while. He hadn’t planned on acting on them, but in the moment it had felt completely out of his hands…

Delgado and Manning would have to wait. His number one priority was the man in his apartment. And his biggest fear was that he’d get there too late.


	4. Welcome Back Manning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Todd reveals himself to his family.

John charged up the stairs, down the hall, and burst through his open door. His heart pumped blood and adrenalin but neither could dislodge the sick squeeze in his stomach as he tried to prepare for what he would find. Todd just had to be okay. John should have done a thorough perimeter check before leaving him alone. Had they been followed from the docks? How long had Baker laid in wait?

The first thing John saw was the clear signs of a struggle. Then he saw a man tied to a chair—and he let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. It was Baker. Todd was nowhere to be found.

“What happened?” he asked the officer. “And where’s my guy?”

“I don’t know, lieutenant,” said the cop sheepishly. “Someone knocked me out. When I woke up, this guy was all wrapped up for us.”

“Where is he?!” John screamed at Baker. Baker blinked at him from behind his gag. Exasperated, John ripped it off forcefully. “Well?!”

“Off making matters worse for himself, no doubt,” Baker replied unhelpfully.

“Not good enough.”

“You would have done well to stay out of this, Officer McBain.”

“Is that a threat? Because I can work with that. We’re taking a trip downtown you lowlife thug.”

“Shows what you know,” Baker smirked.

“The only thing I hate worse than a crook is the dirty law,” John said huffily. “And from what I’m hearing, you’re dirty CIA.”

“Is Tomas Delgado telling you stories, McBain? That’s cute, but you don’t know the half of it, and neither does he.”

“You can fill me in on the way to lockup,” John replied. He knew Baker wouldn’t talk. At least not yet. So what he had to do now was secure this asshole, and then find Todd. As far as he could tell, there was only one place Todd would go. And it was gonna get messy.

*          *          *

Things were not going according to plan. Of course Todd had never really had a plan, so maybe they were and he just wasn’t in on it. The thing was, this imposter, Fraudd Manning refused to admit he was caught, and now everyone was acting all confused, like it wasn’t obvious they’d all been duped for eight years. Jack he could understand, he’d been a really little boy. But Blair? Delgado? Shorty? They should have known who he was. He looked around for John, who was supposed to be there. He would back him up; tell them he was the real Todd Manning—because John believed him. But John wasn’t here. And things were getting a little hairy.

They were all keeping their distance, like he was some kind of dangerous freak show. They should have been cheering and crying and having Fraudd arrested. Instead they were all looking at Fraudd like he was going to give them all the answers. Then Tomas Delgado walked up to him and looked him dead in the face. At least he wasn’t treating him like Llanview’s resident leper.

“Who are you?” Tomas asked him quietly, looking him in the eyes as though imploring him for something.

“I’m Todd Manning, I told you,” Todd replied. “I told all of you.”

“Are you sure about that?” Tomas asked again.

“Of course I’m sure, what are you, deaf, dumb _and_ blind? That guy doesn’t even look like me.”

“He had plastic surgery,” Tomas intoned.

“Oh give me a break. He didn’t have plastic surgery! You guys just bought that, because you are sheep, obviously! Easy marks, the lot of you!”

“Come with me, we should discuss this,” Tomas said, taking Todd by the arm and trying to steer him away from the group.

“I don’t think so, homie,” Todd snapped, pulling away from him roughly. Delgado’s brother was giving him the creeps. Tomas looked a tad offended.

“You really think you’re Todd Manning.”

“I know who I am! Do you really think I would carve my face up just for shits and giggles?” Todd pointed at the ever present scar. Tomas stared into his eyes again. What was with this guy? Then he looked over at Fraudd, and his eyes widened a bit. Todd walked away from him, and turned his attention back to the people he cared about. The people who were refusing to believe him. The people who were choosing this charlatan over the idea that they might have been wrong. He didn’t know how to make it any clearer. They were letting him down, as everyone always did. He’d endured eight years of torture to come home to… this? This wasn’t happening. He felt the emotion bubbling up and instantly began churning it into anger, where it would hurt him less.

“I just don’t know…” Blair was saying.

“He has the scar…” Starr was saying.

“He has no proof,” Tea was saying.

“No way that’s my dad,” Jack was saying.

“He’s a complete nutcase,” Fraudd was saying. “Oh thank god, here’s John. John, arrest this maniac, we’ve all had a very long evening.”

And then John was there, coming towards him, looking only at him.

“You shaved,” he said calmly.

“It was a fancy party,” Todd said nervously. John being here was better, John being calm, John being patient. But maybe it wasn’t enough. Why didn’t Blair believe him? Why didn’t Starr?

“I told you to stay put,” John said softly. Only to him, not the room. To hell with the room. Except the room was everybody. “Come on,” John continued. “Let’s go home.”

“Have you been harboring this psycho, John?” Fraudd asked provokingly. 

“I’m not talking to you Manning,” John said.

“No _, I’m_ Manning,” Todd said hotly, slightly hurt.

“Not here, okay?” John said, trying to take his arm, but no, Todd didn’t want to be touched. Didn’t want to be _pacified._

“Well we can’t both be Manning,” Todd said.

“Okay, It’s time to go,” Fraudd said. “If you’re not going to arrest him, or you’re trying to drag it out for some kind of sick police foreplay, I’m getting my family out of here. Tea, kids, let’s go.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Todd said.  He heard them all gasping, and that was a familiar sound. He was used to it, but it didn’t make him happy. The gun was steady in his hand, but inside he was anything but. The pistol found its target though. That arrogant pretty boy with the dismissive tone; that stealer of children and wives and lives.

Tomas looked as though he wanted to make a move, but it was John who stepped into the weapon’s path. He looked Todd in the eyes.

“No,” he said. “Don’t do this.”

“Get out of the way John,” Todd said. “This bullet’s not meant for you.”

“It’s not meant for anyone. Not tonight.”

“This is my family,” Todd said, his voice growing tight. Anger. He wanted to feel angry. But it was dangerously close to sadness and hurt, and abandonment.

“Yeah, and if you play this right, if you follow the rules, you will get them back,” John was saying. “You’ll get everything back. But not if you kill somebody tonight. You don’t want to do this. I know you don’t.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”

“Because you let me in, Todd. Just a little bit, but enough for me to know you’re not this kind of person.”

“Don’t call him Todd,” Fraudd Manning said, seeming to feel completely confident with John’s body shielding him from the gun.

“Shut up, Todd,” said brother and sister Delgado, at once.

“I’m just saying John’s feeding into his delusions,” Fraudd said.

“So true,” said Jack, following suit.

John was walking towards him. Maintaining eye contact. Todd felt scared. He wasn’t sure what he might do. He wasn’t sure he wouldn’t shoot that bastard… but then, he couldn’t shoot John.

“There is no way,” John said, walking slowly closer, the faintest hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth, like they were just having a slight lover’s spat and Todd was overreacting, “that you are going to shoot anybody in front of your children,” he concluded, putting a hand out and covering the nose of the gun with it, pulling it down to hip level, and taking it gently from Todd’s hand. Todd’s shoulder’s sagged a little. Without the gun and the rage, the hurt was threatening to consume him. In the moment, he hated John for taking away his armor.

“We’re leaving,” Fraudd snapped, gathering his coat and keys and heading for the door. “Tea!” he barked at his wife, revealing a little bit of the emotion that _he_ was trying not to feel. She moved with a start, following him without a word. Everyone else was just staring at the train wreck.

“I’m going to have to take you to the station,” John said.

“You’re arresting me?” Todd asked incredulously.

“I have to. You’ve admitted to kidnapping Sam and shooting a guy. Now you’ve pulled a gun in a public place.”

“You sure know how to show a girl a good time, McBain.”

“I have no choice.”

“There’s always a choice.”

“Well then I’m making the best one. For all parties concerned.”

“Blair,” Todd said, turning away from John. How could John arrest him after all they’d been through? Why did he act like he cared about him and then leave him at the mercy of the corrupt system? Why were his eyes so damn blue and why was Todd dying to kiss him, despite being pissed? No, no more kissing John. Just say no to cops. He turned to Blair instead, crossing the room to her, well aware that John was watching his every move. She was looking at him as confused as ever. This was ridiculous. They had two children together.

“You know it’s me,” he said to her.

“I—I’m just not sure,” she said, looking to Starr for some sort of reassurance. That was crap. He took her swiftly in his arms and kissed her full on the mouth; right in front of that Delgado creep she was dating. He could hear John’s audibly annoyed exhale from behind him. Two birds, one kiss. Then came the handcuffs.

 

 


	5. The King of Mixed Signals

“Your sister is upstairs bailing you out.”

John stood on the free side of the bars, hands in the pockets of his black slacks. Todd could smell his hair, freshly washed and probably aided by that silky, sexy stuff. It smelled really good. Todd forced himself not to smile, which would have been his natural reaction.

“Oh, you remembered I was here?” He said, scowling instead of smiling. “What do you want John? It’s obvious you have washed your hands of me.”

John didn’t exactly suppress his smile. It played lightly around his mouth, revealing his amusement.

“Is that what you think?”  John said. “You know, you’re kind of a handful. I’m doing my best.”

“Arresting me was your best. “

“You left me no choice. I told you to stay in the apartment. Instead you revealed yourself and pulled a

gun on your doppelganger.”

“Oh, he had it coming. And maybe I did get a tiny bit panicky, but can you blame me? And don’t say I _revealed_ myself. It sounds all weird and pervy.”

“You really wanna go there?” John’s eyes twinkled.

“No not really.”

“I didn’t think so. “

“So when you say my sister, you mean Victoria?”

“Yeah.  She doesn’t know if you are who you say you are, but if you are she can’t not bail you out.”

“Well that’s advantageous.”

“I’d say so.”

“But you think I’m who I say I am, right?”

“I do… I think I do.”

“You’re one of those proof-needers, aren’t you John? Are you an atheist?”

“Yes. And no. Lapsed Catholic. Whatever that is.”

“So why are you here?”

“Why am I here?”

“Yes. Viki is bailing me out. Awesome. You put me in here. Not awesome. If you’re looking for more kisses, you’re S.O.L. buddy.” Damn. Todd hadn’t wanted to be the one to bring it up. He felt his face flushing. John walked closer to the cage. He looked all too happy that the subject had been broached.

“That’s right… we have unfinished business,” he said.

“Actually I think our business is quite finished.”

“Well it so happens that I didn’t bring you down here for kisses,” said John, his face very close to the bars now. In fact he leaned his forehead up against one of them, and his lips were within reach. Only his lips though.

“So what then,” said Todd, his voice low, his self control in full force. He wanted nothing more than to grab this man and kiss him through these god forsaken bars. He wanted to feel if John’s heart was pounding like his was, wanted to suck on his tongue and explore his lean, strong body… Why the hell did he want this?

“Once you get out of here, where are  you gonna go?” John asked simply. His voice was all husky and low, his breath shallow. He was feeling it alright. Llanview’s finest steel bars couldn’t block their undeniable chemistry. If anything they heightened it.

“I guess I’ll stay with my sister at her big assed mansion.” Todd deflected.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a problem.”

“Wait, it is? What do you mean?” Todd looked suspicious.

“Viki’s daughters aren’t comfortable with you being in the house with their baby boys.” John said.

“What am I going to do to my own nephews?!” Todd replied, outraged. The idea that he would hurt an innocent baby! Sure, he did pay someone to kidnap Jack that one time, but that had been a gross misunderstanding.

“They aren’t sure you _are_ their uncle Todd. Natalie brought it up—”

“—you’re ex—”

“—yes, my ex. She said she wasn’t comfortable with it. So even though she’s not actually even living there right now—”

“—she doesn’t live there?”

“No, she lives in my building with her new fiancé, Brody.”

“The one who fathered the kid that was supposed to be yours?” Todd asked bluntly. John swallowed dryly.

“Yeah. That’s the one. Brody Lovett.”

“Man, they live in your building? That sucks.”

“It doesn’t rock.”

“That whole thing kind of still bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“No. It is what it is. It’s unfortunate that the poor kid’s name is Liam Lovett, but whatever. “

Todd grimaced in agreement of the poor kid’s name.

“So Natalie doesn’t want me staying where she might be dropping off her kid when she doesn’t feel like watching it? She’s kind of a busy body, isn’t she?”

“That’s an understatement. Anyway, Jessica hates her guts, but she agreed that they shouldn’t have some strange man in the house with the babies.”

“Wait, they both have babies?”

“Yeah. Twin cousins, sort of. Brody was supposed to be Ryder’s father, but it turned out he was Liam’s.”

“Brody sounds like an asshat.”

“Not gonna argue with that one.”

“So why are we talking about this asshat again?”

“You need a place to stay,” John said, bringing the subject back around. “I’m here to offer you my place.” And just like that, the friction in the air that had been dissipating with the evil twin nieces and the asshat  speak was back with a vengeance.  

“I don’t think so,” said the automatic response system in Todd’s psyche hell bent on keeping people out at all costs.

“Think again,” said John all husky sexy whisper and shit.

“Who am I kidding,” said the unexplained desire to get naked with this guy that Todd didn’t know still existed in him.

“That’s better,” John breathed through the bars.

*             *             *

“Aren’t people going to think it’s strange that you’re harboring a fugitive?” Todd asked from the passenger seat of John’s car. He was feeling a little vulnerable at the moment, after seeing Viki at the station. For him it had been like reuniting with his sister after so many years in captivity, for her it was trying to understand how all this could be. Wanting to accept him, but plagued with uncertainly. He had felt like VIki did know it was him, but didn’t completely trust herself. She had been very kind of course, and apologetic about not taking him home with her. She had wanted to, especially after seeing him she had wanted to. She had made John promise to take good care of him, and John had given him a wink… snaky bastard. She had made Todd promise to ask her for anything he might need.

Now in the aftermath of the stiff yet emotional reunion, Todd felt himself closing off from John. He didn’t analyze the reasons why, he knew them well enough . Trust issues had plagued him forever.

“You’re not a fugitive. If you were I wouldn’t be taking you in. You’re legally released pending trial.”

“Still, I’m a danger to babies apparently. And I’m a lunatic who’s pretending to be… oh yeah, that guy who looks just like me. Isn’t it obvious that the real Todd Manning is the one with the completely different face?”

“You shouldn’t be too hard on Viki. This is tough for everyone.”

“Why is it tough? It should be cut and dry! That guy is such an imposter!”

“That may be, but everyone is attached to him. They’ve been through hell with him for the last eight years. Good and bad. Accepting you would force them to let him go.”

“But he is a con man!”

“Maybe. I’m not sure who he is. But I think I know who does.”

“Who?”

“No, not yet.”

“What do you mean not yet?”

“I can’t have you going off half cocked after somebody while I’m still working it all out. I don’t want to have to arrest you again.”

“Oh you enjoyed that.”

“A little bit. Mostly because it made you stop kissing Blair.”

“Oh, you didn’t like that?”

“Not so much.”

“Well get used to it buddy. There’s gonna be a lot more of that once the truth comes out.”

“She has a boyfriend, you know.”

“Yeah, but he’s gonna go down with Fraudd, I’m sure of it. In fact, I’ll bet he’s the guy on your radar! You never told me what he said to you at the gala.”

“I’ve told you enough for now.”

“Don’t think you can shut me out of this! This is my life, John!”

“Calm down, will you?”

“I will not! What does Delgado know? He was acting all crazy at me at the gala. Like I know him or something, or he knew me. I’ve never met that guy before, John.”

“He acted like he knew you?”

“He was trying to get me alone, said we had “stuff to talk about.” I don’t want to talk to him about anything. You think he knows something good, right?”

“Well, he definitely knows Fraudd a lot better than either of us do,” John said cryptically.

“You said that with like, a thing in your voice.”

“A thing in my voice?”

“Like there was some dirty meaning behind it.”

“I had no such thing in my voice.”

“I know what I heard. What dirty deed does Tomas have on Victor?”

“I told you, not yet.”

“Well screw you then,” Todd said finally, turning away from John and looking out the window. “I’ll figure it out on my own. Then you’ll have absolutely no control of the situation.”

*             *             *

Once they were back in John’s apartment, Todd immediately headed himself for John’s red couch. It was the closest thing to home he knew these days. On the couch, everything stopped for a minute. He could think. He could reflect. He was almost at it when he was stopped, John’s hands on either shoulder, his closeness startling, arousing.

“Are we gonna see this through or what?” Jon asked him quietly, his mouth so close to Todd’s his words were foreplay to a kiss.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Todd said nervously, his body heat rising.

“Then I’ll show you,” John replied, and then it was no more words, just the kiss, strong mouth and stubble pulling him in, igniting the feelings that Todd wanted buried. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this, wasn’t _allowed_ to want it, not from a good person, most definitely.  Not from one of those blasted good guys. He’d forfeited his right to sexual pleasure years ago, forfeited his right to feel safe and loved, and as his body leaned in to John and his emotions felt safe and protected, and he wanted nothing more than this moment to continue he knew he could not have it, should not have it _, would_ not have it and he hated John for making him want it, for showing him that it was out there if only he deserved it. He lashed out, shoving John off of him angrily, breath heavy, glaring at the other man’s startled face and hurt pride.

“The fact that you’re surprised right now only proves how little you know me,” Todd said bitterly. “I will accept your help but not with any strings attached.”

“You’re the king of mixed signals, pal,” John said gruffly.

“Good, you’re learning,” Todd said flatly, closing off the playful side.

“Fine,” John said, rubbing at his mouth. “You want all business, you got it.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking anyway.”

John brushed passed him and went to the refrigerator for a beer.  Todd sank into the sanctuary of John’s red couch and glowered. Damn.

 

 


	6. I Like the Couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd suffers from more bad dreams, but John's remedy is a real game changer.

_He was caught in the nightmare and he couldn’t get out. Her voice scratched at his eardrums like long red nails on a grade-school chalkboard, the smell of her perfume cloying as ever, the venom she put in his veins burning him from within._

_“I can do this to you forever. I enjoy it you know. But I’m growing tired of your silence. You will break. But will it be in time to save your life? Or will you be begging me for death?”_

_He never wanted death, not in a million years. Not if she pulled off pieces of him one by one… he did not have the surrender in him. He always wanted freedom._

_“I need the information.”_

_“I don’t have it.”_

_“Then tell me where to find it. Where have you hidden it?”_

_“Do you expect me to remember anything after all this time in here? The only thing left of me is my hatred for you.”_

_“You can continue to lie and I can continue to persuade you. It is up to you to bring an end to this.”_

_“You’re the liar. You know that I would have broken by now if I had anything to give you. You’re just playing with your food. Like a snake.”_

_She slapped his face and there were those nails that he had sensed underneath her abrasive voice, scratching at the bare skin above his beard. She straddled him and snatched the back of his head pulling hard on his hair and her face was so close- overly inflated lacquered lips and in her eyes hatred stronger than whatever he felt for her, for her eyes seemed to know him, and a personal hate is always stronger. How would she know him? He wondered, and then he felt the stab of the little tack, the one she wore hidden in a gaudy pretentious ring. It went easily through the thin t-shirt he wore and she jabbed him repeatedly, tiny cuts that slowly turned his t-shirt red, her breath quickened, hitting his cheeks hotly, smelling too strong of spearmint. That was a smell he used to like, one that he would never like again if he ever got out of here… but he had gotten out, hadn’t he? He just couldn’t get out of the dream! She sprayed him down with something, something that made the cuts sting, he cried out once he couldn’t help it anymore, if he cried loud enough could he wake himself? But now that he was trying his voice wouldn’t work, his mind was alive in the dream but his throat asleep on the other side and panic began to sink in._

_“HELP ME!” he willed himself to shout, and she was laughing at him now, laughing at his futile efforts. “HELP ME!” he tried again, and she was on him again, twisting his arm back and screaming into his face:_

_“Nobody is coming to save you, Todd! No matter how far you run, you will never be free of me! I am in your head! And I am in your veins!” he felt a surge of the pain flush through his veins._

_“Bad blood,” he thought briefly, the thought somehow terrifying. “Bad—“_

“I’ve got you,” came John’s voice, breaking through. Strong arms surrounded him though he tried at first to pull away.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Another bad dream Todd, that’s all.”

Todd stopped struggling, let himself be held. His whole body trembled from the nightmare.

“I couldn’t wake up,” he said feebly.

“You’re awake now,” John answered simply. “You won.” He gave Todd a final squeeze, then pulled back just a little so they could look at each other. John’s blue eyes were calm, and caring. Slightly sleepy because he’d been awakened by Todd’s fitful sleep, but still deep, still present.  Todd felt himself relaxing as he stared into them, like the strength of them were pulling him out of the darkness.

“Maybe you should come in and share my bed. I promise no funny business, it’s just I kind of worry about you out here—”

“No, I like the couch,” Todd said quickly.

“Seriously, I’m not gonna mess with you. I just think maybe you don’t need to be alone right now. I mean, you’ve been tortured for years…”

“That’s not it,” Todd dismissed John’s concern. “I mean, I’m not worried about my virtue, I just… like the couch.”

John scratched absently at his bare chest. He wore only a pair of black pajama pants, probably pulled on in haste moments before. He regarded Todd for a moment.

“You like the couch,” he repeated.

“Yeah. It feels kind of like my couch now. Like, it’s kind of where I live.”

John was trying hard to suppress a smile.

“Now you’re laughing at me. I’ve just waken up in a cold sweat from one of the most terrifying nightmares anyone has had not involving Freddy Krueger, and you’re laughing, John?”

“I am trying very hard not to. I think I get points for that.”

“Oh you do, do you? Points?”

“Pretty sure.”

Todd broke into a smile despite himself.

“I’m okay,” He said.

“It’s alright if you’re not, though,” John assured him.

“I know. But I am. It’s over, she’s gone.” He paused, seeming to search his thoughts for the right words. He kind of shrugged, as though accepting they weren’t going to come. “Thank you for waking me, anyway.”

“Anytime.”

John started to stand. Todd’s hand reached out, grabbed the other man’s arm.

“Wait…”

John stopped.

“I guess… just… I don’t know…” Todd floundered.

“Whatever you need, ok?”

“I guess I don’t really want you to go yet. Even though I’m okay and well… it’s not like I really want to keep talking or anything…”

John put a hand over Todd’s, the one that was still on his arm, asking him to stay. It was a little rough; working class upbringing.

“How ‘bout if I just hang out at your place for a while?” John asked, gesturing to the couch with just that hint of a smile.

“I have an even better idea,” Todd said, and before he could stop himself he was kissing John again, because of course that was what he really wanted, the comfort of another person, someone who was kind and not cruel, someone who would stay up all night on the living room couch for a problematic house guest that he barely knew.

As always their chemistry was electric, and just as Todd thought, it banished her completely: the evil woman in the locked room. Everything was John; his tongue exploring all of Todd’s mouth, his arms surrounding him, his hands, strong on his back and at the base of his neck playing lightly with his hairline every bit of his touch lighting fires that weren’t allowed, but tonight Todd had no intention of putting them out.

He was hesitant to touch John, always afraid of touching things that he cared about because of course he always wound up breaking them, but John was sturdy, more so than any of the women of the past; John was strong and happy to take control. Maybe no one would ever be safe in Todd’s hands, but in that moment Todd realized that he would be safe in John’s, and maybe that made all the difference.

Todd put a hand in John’s hair, god it was silky, sexy… it smelled good too. The passion between them was building, and John reached down between Todd’s legs and took it ( _weapon/shame/manhood_ ) in one of his rough hands, stroking him sexily still kissing him not afraid of him in the least. For Todd there was always a dash of guilt with the pleasure but this time it felt somehow lessened, with John’s large hands big knuckles most _definitely_ male. John took one of Todd’s hands and placed it on his own growing erection, and touching John felt good, exciting and something mostly new. Todd’s heart was now racing; their breaths were heavy and intertwined.

He wondered how to tell John he wanted all of him, John’s manhood throbbing in his hand was not enough he wanted to be filled with it to submit to it and to be one with John. But he didn’t want to say it, couldn’t ask for it… John was kissing on his neck now, his late night stubble scratchy sending shivers of pleasure across Todd’s skin. He was really hard now, starting to lose coherent thought and John was sidling up behind him, he could feel John’s hard cock against his tailbone as John tugged Todd’s pants down further. Of course he didn’t have to ask him didn’t have to tell him. John was in control tonight, John was calling the shots and he knew what they both wanted, knew how to spread Todd’s legs apart, knew how to keep kissing his neck, his arms around him fingering his nipples, knew how to get inside.

Todd gasped at the pain as John filled him up, it was just what he had hoped it would be, pain and pleasure and feeling so close to John. John moaned with pleasure as he moved within Todd, their connection so tight so full so rife with friction blood coursing hot though their veins nerve endings reacting slick with sweat charging toward the culminating climax.

When it was over-- in a hot wet tangle of panting and gasping and manly grunts-- they didn’t speak. John wrapped his arms around Todd tightly, his face nuzzled in the crook of his neck, spooning him snugly on the red couch. Todd lay quietly, completely spent, and just before falling out he thought, “ _Huh. That’s the first time since college that I’ve come without feeling at least a little bit guilty.”_ And then there was peaceful, dreamless sleep.


End file.
